Where your story began is perfect
During my late teenage years and my early 20s, my response to “Where are you from?” often used to be, “It only matters where I want to go.” The knowledge of having no control as to birthplace and the awareness of not having won the birth lottery invoked a mild irritation instead of pride each time the question was posed. Over the years, my journey has not only equipped me with maturity, international experience, the know-how, the be-how but also a better sense of self-empowerment and self-worth, which does not rest on anyone or any other external factors.
It is hard to recall much of my childhood in Vietnam besides the overwhelming school schedule, academic pressure, and a few times at the beach in the summer. The perceived stereotype of Asians from the Western perspective of being nerdy, school-smart, or good at math is not fully understood. The chance of coming out on top in a megalopolis is slim if one does not make it into one of the most prominent schools and manage to be one of the best students in one of the brightest classes. One does not have or see any other choices. It is always about the intensity of competition everywhere one looks. In addition to normal schooling from 7 am to 5 pm, students are expected to attend tutoring or language classes until about 8 pm and rush home by 9 pm to grab something to eat and tackle homework. Saturdays and Sundays are reserved for extra lessons for the “gifted” as well as other extracurricular activities; for my case, it was literature in the morning, music lesson in the afternoon, and sports in the evening. A sense of responsibility, organizational skills, and daily discipline was fostered at the age of six as I was once told by my mom, “One can only go to bed when the homework is thoroughly done (with footnote, bibliography, and a table of contents) and everything is neatly written.” I exaggerate everything in the parenthesis of the previous sentence, of course.
Although discipline and tenacity naturally acquired from my formative environment do make my adult life easier, what I am eternally thankful for is having a mother who is the most loving, caring, and selfless person I know and a father whose humility, patience, and work ethic are truly nonpareil. Thanks to my role-model parents, I am who I am today.
Despite having school as the center of my time in Vietnam, my mind was not solely occupied with the subject matter. I had a secret superpower, and still do: Daydream. The superpower was developed on days in which electricity was out for eight to ten hours at a time. Inside or outside, the heat was unbearable. One day, I found a way to temporarily ignore the scorching tropical weather. I simply sat still, kept my eyes closed, and let my thoughts transport me out of the “what is” (no electricity, boredom, homework was done, no friend to play with). I envisaged myself living and being everything that I had desired for my future. More than sheer visualizing, I “felt” my way into my vision: how it feels to be in a foreign country; how it feels to be able to communicate in multiple languages (it comes with a lot of work); how it feels to have and live the dream. I was alone, quiet, and highly entertained. I now know better what my former self was doing. Little Thien was getting to know his higher self, tapping into his inner and infinite power, and living as if everything was already done and what ever asked for was given. Since it felt incredible, I wanted to remain in that state even with my eyes open. Sometimes it is easy. Sometimes it is not if I give too much power to the external world so that it can dictate or influence my inner world and feelings. Over the years, I have learned to turn the ship around. Once I am at ease and at peace with my inner being, the outer environment immediately mirrors and displays the pleasantry in all things and faces. If it had not been for my experience from being born and growing up in Vietnam, I might not have been able to use my imagination to such extent and bring my future to my present moment. I am already there. There is no lack. I believe in what I see with my eyes closed and act accordingly with my eyes open. What a fun game to play. That is what old souls do anyway, just play.
The physical manifestation of my dream came about on the day that my mom heard of a scholarship opportunity for high school students to study in the U.S. I remembered coming home from a 4-hour badminton tournament at school and being informed that I was to take an English assessment exam in the next two hours. I showed up for the exam and the rest was history. During my high school year at the Public Academy for Performing Arts in Albuquerque, New Mexico, I worked hard to set up the next step that eventually led to the next step - finishing high school, doing all the things required for my university application as an international student, obtaining scholarships, and attending college.
There have been incidents that I receive unexpected “Wegweiser” from the people in my environment. For instance, one of my international academic advisors made me aware of a scholarship to study at the Musikhochschule Würzburg for a year. Despite my hesitance due to not knowing more than three words in German at the time, I was encouraged to apply with the empowering words of my advisor, “You can learn any language, Thien.” I was reminded that I am capable of all things to which I set my mind and heart. The coherence of the thread throughout the years has been astounding. I have witnessed the realization of my mindful imagination and the anticipated feelings of getting to see more of the world, with one firm step at a time. After my one year in Germany, my heart desired to come back to Europe without knowing the “How”s. The disappointment and frustration of receiving six rejection letters for a master’s in Comparative Literature in the U.S. pulled me away from my alignment with my inner being. The entire application process was done with fear, uncertainty, and a lack of clarity, for I simply did not want to return home and thought that a master’s in anything that has to do with languages would prolong my residence abroad. I did not know then that nothing positive can take place if the attempted path to it is instilled with fear, doubt, and desperation. Towards the end of my last semester at UNM, I acted calm although my circumstance still stayed the same. One day after my German class, my professor voiced her thoughts, “I could see you as a decent translator someday.” That was enough to trigger my curiosity to do some research. I subsequently found a way to return to Germany and embark my academic journey in Heidelberg. During the application process, I daydreamed of being in the yard of the Institute of Translation and Interpretation, looking at the photo on the institute’s webpage. And the vision took me to where I needed to be.
Being a co-creator of life is all about getting ready to be ready to be ready and being faithful to the unseen reality.
Coming from Vietnam teaches me a great deal about patience and serves as a kind reminder for me to always appreciate and enjoy the journey as the continuation of the present moment unfolds. The visa application process and logistical paperwork often seem to only come together in the last minutes. I often caught myself spending too much time living in worry and imagining how things could go wrong, which only robbed me of the joy of being fully in the present. All things will work out - that is the universal law. And in the meantime, I must focus on aspects that bring me joy, peace, contentment, and satisfaction.
Is it not comical how most people say that they love traveling, yet when it comes to booking or embarking on a trip, almost everyone choses the shortest travel time with the least number of connections as possible? The concept of traveling is nullified when one fixates from getting from A to Z, wanting to get rid of all the letters in between. Alan Watts, a salient expert on Eastern thought and a master of Zen, uses music to convey that one misses the whole point in life, only living to arrive at a certain end point in the future.
“In music, one doesn’t make the end of the composition the point of the composition.
If that were so, the best conductors would be those who played fastest, and there would be composers who wrote only finales. People would go to concerts just to hear one crashing chord — because that’s the end! […] We thought of life by analogy with a journey, with a pilgrimage, which had a serious purpose at the end, and the thing was to get to that end: success, or whatever it is, or maybe heaven after you’re dead.
But we missed the point the whole way along.
It was a musical thing — and you were supposed to sing, or dance, while the music was being played.”
“Life and Music” by Alan Watts
Watts’ wisdom and philosophy open door to the experience of the confluence of the present and the future at a profound level of subconsciousness, where time is fluid; the journey and destination are one. Such awareness fosters the attentiveness of my inner being to the “now”, instead of letting the past or the future muddle my current peace and thus, trigger unwanted thoughts and their associated emotions.
I am in love with where I am, excited about where I am about to go, and grateful for my background and upbringing that laid the foundation for the gift of unending self-actualization. The competitiveness of a populous country like Vietnam has cultivated in me the intrinsic drive to express myself creatively, be authentic, and yet courageously different. My childhood and my past circumstances empower my work ethic and promote the co-creation of the reality by means of imagination and unconditional trust in the vision. Discipline, hard work, daydream, letting go, and blind faith constitute the source of my bliss. I believe that with the right mindset, where we come from can be observed as a catapult for greatness, regardless of country of origin. Be who you are, dream big, act accordingly, trust more in yourself and the Universe, release resistance, doubt and fear, and allow yourself to be wowed by the “How”s. All things will work out and you will live happily ever after.
With a lot of soul work, I have come to realize that being born in Vietnam is my advantage, tool, and weapon. I am glad that my story started there so that I will continue to have exceptional stories to tell. I choose to be an opportunist and a victor of my life and never a victim of any situation perceived by the five physical senses. My starting point was perfect. Everything is delightful, right here, right now and nothing can ever go wrong.
The music is still playing. Will you keep on dancing and singing?
