Setbacks are your perfect setups

It’s 2021, but the curveball of 2020 hasn’t seemed to go away just yet. As if finding a job in normal days wasn’t competitive enough for college graduates, they have to do so this time during a pandemic, which has plunged the job market and what was once familiar into a torrential night. I truly feel for my fellow artists and musicians who are eager and ready to show the world what they’ve got, only to be greeted with closed venues and an empty stage. My friends who work in gastronomy or the tourism industry are wondering when they will bring home their next paychecks and be able to sleep well again. Many are struggling looking for a new job, waiting for a contract or not being able to close on a house. Health or financial reports leave many others in despondence. Millions and their loved ones have experienced the physical, psychological, and social impacts of Covid-19. The list goes on,

When will healing come? When will this pandemic be over? When will it be possible to travel again? When and if will it ever feel ok again to hug your friends and family members without fear? When will citizens stop turning against each other owing to their divergence of political belief systems? If these times are not trying, I don’t know what is. This, unfortunately, will not be the last difficulty we face in our lifetimes. On a more positive note, the lessons and personal growth taken away from these uncertain days will change the course of our lives for the better.

A bump in the road is not there to stymie your potentials and happiness or jeopardize your career. Each obstacle is designed to lift you up. Doesn’t standing on that bump, that rock or that mountain give you a slightly different perspective? Are you now not higher than where you were?

Today, on a global scale, we are in this together, having to condition ourselves, learn to hold on a little longer, and overcome the test so that we can emerge with replenished strength, resilience, longanimity, patience, experience, and better preparation for future trials. Our setbacks are generous enough to offer us a training ground. We will recover from this pandemic and civil unrest. We will all be able to work, travel, and see our loved ones more often again. We will see progress, hope, and healing soon enough. Your moment or your turn around is on the horizon. If you have been doing the required work, your breakthrough is guaranteed. There is no breakthrough without “break”, which is never easy or comfortable. A breakthrough can’t be expected without the needed training, thorough preparation, continual strength, and unwavering trust. Sometimes it takes being broken down in order to excel. Similar to the feeling of resuming your exercise routine after a long break, it hurts. And it’s a good sign. Torn, rebuilt, and refined muscles are the desired outcome.

If you see yourself as someone with all the perfect setups in life, kindness, compassion, and gratitude will make your cup runneth over. Stay calm yet ready and alert to steer and make adjustments along the way. Even with the ideal setups from the start, one will still experience a fair share of battles or uncomfortable events every now and then. The attitude one adopts while facing unwanted situations determines everything. Life neither gives you what you want, what you need, nor what you deserve. Life gives you what you are; hence, let us be love and light, of which the world and humanity are in dire need. By being and doing so, your own problems may seem less daunting.

For those of us who are encountering setbacks, let us be grateful for the lessons and learn not only to go through a challenge, but to grow through it. Do not be bitter. Keep a positive mindset and be the love and light to everyone around you. Stop blaming your upbringings, your parents, your teachers, or your boss for your unhappiness or discontentment with where you currently are. A kind and constructive attitude can absolutely turn things around and elevate your energy and vibration. It takes a lot of inner work to be comfortable not knowing or wanting to understand everything at any given moment. Time will help us see how marvelously we have been set up - the journey, the views, and the people we wouldn’t otherwise have met.

Had it not been for all six rejection letters from graduate schools in the US, those days of barely having any money to live on, the work contract that wasn’t offered immediately after my studies in Heidelberg, all the closed doors presented in between, and a great deal of mental support from the most important people in my life, I wouldn’t have been able to recenter myself, rediscover and start playing to my strengths, devise a clear plan as well as its execution so that I can actively pursue my dream and concurrently live with serenity, inner peace, courage, hope, and positivity. The accumulation of those bumps in the road brought about a major awakening that there’s nothing could bring me as much joy as the act of singing and writing, which leads to the birth of the Phamtastic Journey. As long as I still take care of my passion, my passion will take care of me. With that being said, dear “the fear of failure”, I bid you adieu.

In case you have done everything and not yet seen immediate improvements, the continuation of working and co-creating with life will serve you well. The more you can be like water and let go of resistance, forcefulness, bitterness and control, the better. Consider the mentalities: “Oh, life is a bitch” or “Life is tough, but I am tougher.” How can anyone be tougher or greater than life? Don’t seek logic and reason at each turn with “But I am a good person. Why is this happening to me?” either. Do not play the victim, because you are not. Things don’t happen “to” you. With time, you will see that they happened “for” you. Surround yourself with the people who truly love you during hard times. You don’t see setbacks as your setups when you find yourself in a gyre. Time will unveil the magical thread. For the time being, let’s remind ourselves that changes will soon be on the way. A new beginning is next.

Whatever your temporary circumstance seems to be, dance your dance anyway, sing your song, write your story, drink your gin or chocolate espresso, keep loving the way you do, express yourself, and be the most YOU you can be each day. For that reason alone are you here. Having said so, please don’t look left or right to see where everyone else is. Some may seem ahead of you and some behind. My best friend once wrote “Give time time” and it has helped me live with inner harmony ever since. Your own timeline can’t be rushed. “Don’t compare yourself with anyone in this world. If you do so, you are insulting yourself”, as Bill Gates brilliantly put it. Life never gives you more than you can handle, after all. Before wanting to rush to the next thing, I remind myself to check in, asking, “Am I ready or qualified to handle more right now?” As soon as you can be the best where you are, better and bigger things will show up and find you.

Sometimes we are too caught up with what tomorrow will bring that we are oblivious to the blessings of today. There is only the here and the now. I have realized that worrying about the future does no good. It only robs me of the ability to count my blessings and enjoy the sun as well as storm clouds. I refuse to put my happiness on hold until everything works out. I will not wait until I have that permanent residence and the German citizenship to be happy. I will not postpone the joy of living until I accomplish my big goals. Who guarantees that we will have tomorrow?

So, my friend, be happy, or at least at peace with where you are. Each of us is here for a reason, and for specific assignments - the sheer act of being and loving, using our talents, knowledge, courage, uniqueness, artistry, and curiosity to serve. You don’t have to be famous or change the world to be proud of yourself and to see how important, valuable, and irreplaceable you and your life are. We want to leave behind a legacy. Not the legacy of physical beauty, fame, power or material wealth, but rather “every life [we] touch” (Maya Angelou).

As I reflect and look at the bigger picture of all the ups and downs in my journey, I wouldn’t want to change or alter any event that transpired. With more time and understanding, I must acknowledge that everything happened for my best interest and my highest good. We have the power to allow ourselves to be happy and not live in fear and doubt. Let us embrace our setbacks. They will make more sense months and years from now and we will be glad that it had to be this way. Shall we kiss and live today with joy? Start and continue to set things in motion and the Universe will conspire to do more for you than you could ever see or fathom. Temporary setbacks are your permanent setups for the concrete personal growth, upcoming success and perennial happiness that you have brought into existence along the way.

Just play,

Thien Phamtastic